149 Do Not Hate

“Love you? I don’t even hate you anymore, so where is this love you speak of? Yes! I once loved you—I admit it—but what about you? You trampled on my sincere feelings beneath your feet, calling me when you pleased, casting me aside at will. When you pushed me off that cliff, you shattered the last fragile hope I had! Why on earth should I still love you? Duan Nanyu, give me a reason!”

Her body trembled violently, her voice quivering with desperation—he wouldn’t let her go! Why was he still unwilling to release her?

“I don’t believe it!” he shook her desperately, trying to break the steely resolve in her eyes, but it was futile. The painful words stuck in his throat as his hopeful gaze dimmed, “I don’t believe it... We met so early, yet fate kept playing tricks on me. Have we truly missed each other?”

“We met too late! That’s why this tragedy happened!” Yun Xueyan stopped struggling, sneering at him. “You and I are impossible.”

She freed one hand, clutching her chest with all her might, lifting her delicate chin to look at him. “Here… it has been hurt, broken. There’s no place left for you. Do you know what it feels like when the pain tears through you to the very core? Duan Nanyu… do you know?”

His eyes flickered to her trembling fingers, and his gaze stiffened. “I know.”

He truly did, deeply. That gut-wrenching pain nearly took his life.

He searched for her relentlessly, day and night, yet when they met again, it was under these circumstances. She stood before him, telling him… she had forgotten him.

His heart ached even more than hers. She could face him calmly, but he could not. He was still trapped alone in a nightmare, terrified of losing her.

Does he know? Yun Xueyan shook her head. What exactly does he know? That she is in pain? That she is desperate? Or does he understand just how bone-deep that pain truly is?

She had no tears left. All she could do was smile at him—a bitter smile, forced yet necessary. “Duan Nanyu, I told you that you would meet a grim fate! I told you…”

Her gaze drifted to the distance, dazed. Feng Xilou stood in the snowy landscape, clad in a white robe trimmed with gold, blending almost seamlessly with the snow. She looked at him… and she had kept something from him too.

“Why, Yan’er? Why do you live but refuse to seek me? Why?” Feng Xilou’s voice was gentle but could not hide the pain within.

His phoenix-like eyes fixed intently on Yun Xueyan, but the pain it caused him was almost suffocating.

That night, they had stood face to face, yet she could look at him with such a tone and gaze. These memories resurfaced now, bringing unbearable agony.

“Xilou, I thought we had been clear enough. You and I… have no connection.” Yun Xueyan broke free from Duan Nanyu’s embrace, stepping several paces away as he stood stunned.

“You shouldn’t have come here in the middle of the night. If you truly care for me, then don’t make me suffer anymore. Yun Xueyan is dead. I am Jue Yan—same face, but my heart is different.” Without looking back, she turned abruptly, leaving the two men frozen in place. She walked away decisively, leaving no room for hesitation.

Neither Duan Nanyu nor Feng Xilou pursued her. Her steps, however, had already begun to falter; her figure wavered unsteadily. She didn’t know if, after expending all her strength, she could even make it back to her room.

Lost in thought for a moment, her body suddenly lifted off the ground. Feng Yihan caught her effortlessly from behind, cradling her horizontally as he headed inside.

“Thank you, Young Master Feng.” She relaxed into his arms, his demeanor cold, but at least his chest was warm. She could lean on that.

“Why make things difficult for yourself?” He remained silent for a moment before speaking.

“Aren’t you the same? Making things hard for yourself. You still don’t want to tell me about your past, do you?” She smiled faintly, then closed her eyes. Feng Yihan didn’t need to answer; she could read everything in his emotionless gaze. He wasn’t ready to speak yet.

“One day, you’ll know.” She looked up at the vast moonlit sky. When that day comes, I hope you won’t hate me.

But those words remained unspoken, swallowed forever within his heart.