053 Unbridgeable

Roused from a dull ache, she found herself alone; the warmth on the empty side of the bed had long since faded. Glancing outside the window, she saw that it was nearly noon. Resigned, she rose, performed a simple toilette, left her hair loose, and pushed open the door—only to be greeted by the sight of a pale robe.

Cloud Snow Yan stood there in a daze, unable to lift her head, for she knew all too well who stood before her.

Why had he come again?

"Yan’er, are you well?" The voice, warm as a spring breeze, belonged to Feng Xilou. His eyes narrowed slightly, for he had heard of the attempt on her life that night, and how she had nearly perished.

His heart had been suspended for so long, never at rest. Only upon seeing her with his own eyes could he be at ease. Now, with her standing before him unharmed, he finally allowed himself relief.

"Xilou, what brings you here?" The sight of him left her startled. She had always believed that when she woke, the first face she would see would be that of Duan Nanyu.

But once again, she was mistaken. It was Feng Xilou before her.

That gentle man, as soft as the wind, forever smiling, ever courteous and unfathomable.

He drew her into his arms, wanting to keep her close, yet not daring to hold too tightly—she was so fragile...

"Thank heaven you’re safe." The words in his heart twisted and turned, lingering restlessly, yet only these left his lips. What else could he say to her?

There was so much he wished to say, but could not. The ache in his chest boiled like scalding water. He had already admitted, in front of Feng Chengyun, that he cared for her.

He was skilled at concealing all emotion—except, it seemed, the feelings he held for her. Those, no matter how he tried, would always slip out and be noticed. Wouldn’t this only bring her harm?

Yet, he could not let go.

Cloud Snow Yan, caught unprepared, was ensnared by his words, lost once more. She suppressed the tears that threatened her eyes, forced herself to smile for comfort. To have someone remember her—she should be content with that.

Yet, all she longed for seemed forever out of reach, while what stood before her was never meant to be hers.

She knew only too well the chasm that lay between herself and Feng Xilou.

Enduring the slow, heavy sorrow, she gently pushed him away, her eyes glimmering with gratitude as she gazed up at him.

"I'm fine. Thank you... for your concern." She uttered the formal words numbly, and even her lips ached with the effort.

With a faint smile, Feng Xilou stepped back, putting distance between them. "Forgive me. I forgot that you are now the officially invested Consort Yan of Prince Xiao’s household. I overstepped just now." The smile that lingered at his lips was tinged with bitterness, seeping through every part of him.

Her body stiffened, hands hidden in her sleeves, forcing her lips into a matching smile. Yet it felt forced, and at last, she simply bowed her head. "I have other matters to attend to. If you’re looking for His Highness, he should be in the study."

Indeed, he had come to see Duan Nanyu. Yet, upon entering the princely residence, he had unconsciously wandered toward the Pavilion of the Darkened Moon.

"Then you..." He stepped in closer, gently brushing her dark hair. "Take good care of yourself. I’ll be going now."

Watching his figure disappear from the courtyard, Cloud Snow Yan finally sat on the threshold. She was not worthy of any tenderness from him—she could not entrust her heart to him. A man as fine as he was deserved a far better woman.

Her bitter smile overwhelmed her features. Perhaps, once again, she had merely been deluding herself.