Chapter 138: Extremely Disliked

You don't understand me at all, nor do you know whether I am a bad person or a good one. Why on earth is Xuanyuan Juesi hunting me down? You haven't asked anything, have you? Isn't this something a normal person would ask?

Si Xueyi didn't want to fall out with him, but she needed to make clear why he was doing all this. What if he was actually sent by Xuanyuan Juesi? That would make the whole situation even more absurd.

"I know what you're suspecting. But I would never do anything to harm you. Trust me, although the journey we've shared isn't long, I feel I've shown that I'm not a bad person."

Xiu Yan tried his best to explain earnestly, hoping that Si Xueyi wouldn't mistake his good intentions for malicious ones. That was not what he wanted.

"I know. I'm sorry, perhaps I overreacted just now. But there are still things you're hiding from me, aren't there?"

Si Xueyi hit the nail on the head, leaving Xiu Yan practically speechless.

"You look exactly like my departed wife."

After a long silence, Xiu Yan uttered these words.

"I'm sorry."

Sensing she had touched upon his wound, Si Xueyi apologized softly.

"It's alright."

"I am not your wife."

"I know."

Xiu Yan nodded slowly.

Of course he knew. Baimeng was extremely gentle, completely different from Si Xueyi, who was like day and night compared to her. They shared nothing in common except for that face.

"I'm very sorry. But I think you should continue searching for your wife instead of wasting your time on me. Doing this might cause you to miss the chance of finding her."

At that moment, Si Xueyi even less wanted to hold him back, because he was a man of deep affection.

"I've searched for three years without a single piece of news about her. Then word finally came from the Boshui region that someone had seen my wife—which was you. So I rushed over here immediately. You truly look identical to her. But even though you look exactly the same, I have never once thought that you actually are her. I am indeed merely searching for the shadow of my wife in you."

Xiu Yan admitted without the slightest concealment.

"Even so, I still didn't want to lose sight of you. Because I am looking for a sustenance for my soul. Baimeng has been gone from me for far too long, and any person or thing that bears even the slightest resemblance to her compels me to pursue it."

"Baimeng is a very beautiful name."

Si Xueyi looked at Xiu Yan. He was indeed a deeply affectionate man; otherwise, he wouldn't have wasted so much time on her.

"Thank you."

Xiu Yan expressed his gratitude for her praise.

"So what will you do now?"

"I don't know."

Xiu Yan shook his head. Without any clues, what could he possibly do?

"Are there any other leads?"

"None. There never have been."

"Then why did she disappear back then?"

"I don't know. She vanished without any warning whatsoever. I have a bad feeling... perhaps she is already..."

At this point, Xiu Yan couldn't hold back his tears.

"Don't think too much. No news is good news."

Si Xueyi didn't know how to comfort him, but at that moment, she hoped this man could stay strong. Having persevered through several years, he would surely find his wife.

"Perhaps so. Or maybe I'm just deceiving myself, and she stopped loving me long ago, which is why she left."

Xiu Yan had to face countless harsh realities.

Si Xueyi didn't know how to console him, but she hoped the outcome wouldn't be as he described.

"You're making me feel so guilty, Xiu Yan. Please don't think like that. Your wife must love you very much, truly."

Xiu Yan looked at Si Xueyi with sorrow, not knowing what else to say.

"Maybe. But are you really determined to let me leave? This isn't advantageous for you. If you want to reach the capital quickly, having me by your side would be a great help."

"We are merely acquaintances who crossed paths by chance, yet you've helped me so much. I already feel deeply indebted. It's enough, truly."

Si Xueyi wasn't thick-skinned enough to let a stranger sacrifice so much for her, even though she felt they could be friends.

In the long run, however, problems would inevitably arise because of this face, which would always remind Xiu Yan of his departed wife, Baimeng. If that was going to happen, it would be better not to be friends at all.

Otherwise, it would breed countless complications for their future.

And Si Xueyi knew that absolutely wouldn't do, because she had much more important matters to attend to. She had no interest in being anyone's substitute, nor did she wish to foster a romantic attachment.

"Then take care of yourself along the way."

"I will."

Parting ways with Xiu Yan left Si Xueyi with a trace of melancholy.

Even so, she gathered her emotions and decided to set off once more.

However, figuring out how to reach the capital posed a challenge. Xiu Yan had drawn a map of a shortcut for her, but it was far too distant; there was no way she could survive the journey alone. Therefore, she decided to try her luck by taking the official highway instead, doing the exact opposite of what was expected. The most dangerous path might just be the safest.

She changed into men's clothing, applied some makeup to alter her complexion, put on a hat, and embarked on the journey.

Walking with extreme caution, she managed to slip out of the town surprisingly smoothly. This boosted Si Xueyi's confidence—perhaps her good fortune would hold for the road ahead.

Yuan Qianlü didn't seem to have appeared lately, though figures of imperial guards could be seen everywhere along the road.

That was for the best; at least she could avoid Yuan Qianlü. A man like him was somewhat dangerous, and right now, he probably wished nothing more than to kill her.

Although Yuan Qianlü was ostensibly just an ordinary guard, she could tell from his eyes that he harbored a streak of male chauvinism.

She could only pray he wouldn't manage to track her down.

I wonder how my younger sister, Si Nuosang, is doing right now?

Truth be told, Si Nuosang's situation was far better than her own, but Si Xueyi couldn't set her mind at ease regarding Xuanyuan Juesi. If he had the audacity to treat her this way, he certainly wouldn't show any mercy to Si Nuosang.

This only strengthened her resolve to bring Si Nuosang back.

Xuanyuan Juesi didn't dare to kill her, likely fearing that the truth would eventually come to light and Si Nuosang would find out. Si Nuosang would never forgive someone who murdered her sister, and Xuanyuan Juesi had no way to ensure her death would remain permanently hidden from Si Nuosang.

He understood this clearly, which was why he would never lay a hand on her life.

And this was Si Xueyi's only advantage. She knew that as long as she stayed alive, she would eventually find Si Nuosang and take her away.

Si Nuosang had no inkling of Si Xueyi's arrival, as she deemed it an impossibility.

Right now, she and Xuanyuan Juesi were getting along reasonably well. It was always the same routine: Xuanyuan Juesi would drive her away, then bring her back, and she would soft-heartedly forgive everything. She truly wished she could remain calm and clear-headed enough to judge whether this endless cycle had any meaning.

Yet the moment she laid eyes on Xuanyuan Juesi, her gaze became completely glued to him. As long as he opened his arms to her, Si Nuosang would inevitably throw herself into his embrace.

She despised herself for being this way; she loathed it intensely.