Chapter 37: The Twin-Tailed Gal Pixie
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“Holy crap!”
When he saw the newly refreshed wish, Ansheng’s pupils practically shook with shock, and his entire fox body froze rigid in the courtyard.
His expression even grew uneasy.
There were cockroaches at Yu Xueqing’s house...
Ordinary cockroaches, such as the German cockroach or the American cockroach, did not frighten Ansheng in the slightest.
But this was the Jiangdong region!
Wild cockroaches lived in sewage pipes, where they fed on scraps of food, all kinds of grease, and even the common products of human digestion.
Besides the usual American cockroach, there was another terrifying species commonly known as the Flying-Head Cockroach.
Its scientific name was the black-breasted cockroach. Its entire body was covered in beetle-like armor, but its most formidable feature was the powerful black muscle packed beneath its armored thorax.
Those robust muscles in its chest and back gave it astonishing speed in flight. When it took off, the beating of its wings roared like a bomber flying overhead.
The black-breasted cockroach’s strategy when facing an enemy was simple: launch itself straight into their face.
Covered in the filth of sewage pipes, it would charge directly at you!
In the Jiangdong region, no one could keep their complexion from changing at the sight of one of these so-called Flying-Head Cockroaches.
Their existence was rather like wrapping a mop in feces before taking it into a fight.
They were practically the modern incarnation of Lü Bu, mowing down all opposition without peer.
“This place... I don’t want it anymore!”
After considering the matter again and again, Ansheng decided that although the reward was tempting, even a little fox had principles.
Acting cute and spoiled was a way to tame one’s human servant.
That was the wisdom of a fox.
But acting cute, pretending to be adorable, and playing the poor little victim did not include physically confronting the mortal incarnation of the Lord of Filth.
“Little An?”
Yu Xueqing, who had already fled from the bedroom, seemed to notice the little fox standing stiffly in the courtyard as he pondered what to do.
Her eyes lit up. She hurried from the living room into the courtyard, picked up the slightly grubby fox, and held him before her, her face glowing with delight.
“You came back at exactly the right time. How about I give Little An a bath?”
“Yip—”
The little fox stared blankly at Yu Xueqing.
“But before your bath, you need to go into the bedroom and help me deal with...”
Before Yu Xueqing could finish, Ansheng seemed to know exactly what she intended to say and immediately began struggling.
You’re talking nonsense! I came back at the worst possible time!
“Yip-yip-yip—”
“Little An, I know you’re the best. There are two twin-tailed beauties in my bedroom. You’ll probably like those two big sisters... Little An, will you go and get rid of them for me?”
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Yu Xueqing pushed the little fox toward the bedroom.
They walked on and on.
When they reached the hallway, the little fox pushed from behind, driving the utterly bewildered Yu Xueqing all the way to the bedroom door.
Ansheng and Yu Xueqing stared at each other, wide-eyed. Neither human nor fox had the slightest intention of dealing with the Flying-Head Cockroaches.
“How about I buy you a midnight snack?”
“Yip-yip-yip!”
After a fierce dispute, the human and fox reached a peace agreement: neither would set the other up.
They shut all the doors and windows, climbed into the Five Spirits Chopped-Chili Fish Head, and drove downtown to a twenty-four-hour convenience store to buy insecticide.
With a grim expression, Yu Xueqing spent over a hundred yuan and bought five bottles of insecticide to keep at home.
Then, inside the convenience store, she bought some snacks and the ice-cold cola that the little fox had been whining about nonstop.
After driving home, Yu Xueqing put on a mask, took a bottle of insecticide in each hand, and entered the house.
A short while later, she emerged into the courtyard carrying two completely empty bottles.
Yu Xueqing washed her hands.
At one in the morning, she sat in the courtyard with the fox in her arms, eating snacks and scrolling through tea-selling livestreams on TikTok.
Yu Xueqing gradually discovered that the later it got, the more revealing the tea sellers became.
The hosts who had previously sold milk tea were nothing compared with these streamers dressed in thong underwear.
“Yip-yip-yip—”
Lying in Yu Xueqing’s arms, Ansheng found the muscular man in a thong on the livestream somewhat painful to look at. He raised a paw and swiped across the screen.
The next livestream was also selling goods, and also selling tea.
“Wow! Little An, look! A Dou Sect expert!”
Yu Xueqing exclaimed as she watched the livestream host, whose long legs were nearly six feet tall. Every time those beautiful legs took a step, they seemed to cause ripples in space.
“Don’t worry about whether it’s distorted or not. You love watching this stuff.”
Ansheng grinned and mocked the livestream.
Around two in the morning, after making sure every cockroach in the house was thoroughly dead, Yu Xueqing—who was already exhausted—turned on the air conditioner in the living room, rinsed her mouth, and collapsed straight onto the sofa.
The bedroom was unusable for the time being.
After waking up tomorrow, she would throw everything from the bedroom, fox included, into the washing machine and give it a thorough spin.
As she drifted into sleep, Yu Xueqing mumbled indistinctly while hugging the fox.
Once Yu Xueqing had fallen asleep, the little fox crawled stealthily out of her embrace, wriggled free from the prison of her arms, and stared at the snoring woman with a face full of dark lines.
“Whatever happened to giving me a bath? You filthy slob actually chose to sleep in the living room!”
The little fox gave two soft whimpers and poured all the Wish Power he had earned that day into his body.
Pouring a cup of water for a drunken chicken bug: Wish Power +1.
Without Ansheng’s help, the young man from Longstream Town successfully entered America illegally and passed the graduate school entrance examination. Thanks be to Lord Fox: Wish Power +1.
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The other matter was eliminating the wild boar in Lean Hound Ravine that had grown enormous from eating plant growth hormones: Wish Power +3.
Ansheng had gained five points of Wish Power that day.
Adding the thirty-one points he already possessed, Ansheng had invested thirty-six points of Wish Power into his fox body.
From then on, whenever Ansheng crossed the road, he only needed to watch out for overloaded construction vehicles and hundred-ton trucks. He no longer needed to look left and right at the traffic.
After going all in on his Wish Power and enjoying the rush, Ansheng ran out of the house, called Lin Ying over to join him for a midnight snack, and took the opportunity to have a bath as well.
Meanwhile, deep in the mountains of Lean Hound Ravine, Old Chen stood there in bewilderment, staring at the forestry bureau officials.
After concealing the existence of Lord Fox, Old Chen had photographed the events at Lean Hound Ravine and reported them to the forestry bureau.
He claimed that the wild boar had stolen fertilizer from the tea farmers, then rammed its head into the steps leading up and down the mountain and knocked itself unconscious. He asked the forestry officials to come and haul away the vicious animal.
Up to that point, Old Chen had assumed that all he needed to do was wait for the forestry officials to take over. Then he could go home, bathe, and sleep, and notify the village cadres the next day that the wild-boar infestation at Lean Hound Ravine had been dealt with.
However...
What arrived was not several veterinarians carrying tranquilizers in a swaying pickup truck to haul the boar away, as he had expected.
Before Old Chen stood a helicopter, with a gigantic steel cage suspended beneath it.
A group of people descended from the helicopter and hurried over to the bizarre wild boar, injecting it with tranquilizers.
“Old Chen! We’ve struck it rich!”
A forestry bureau official beamed at him.
“Based on our experience, the wild boar we captured here in Lean Hound Ravine may qualify for a world record!”
“The heaviest wild boar in the world was previously found in Siberia. It weighed fifteen hundred pounds!”
“And this one from Lean Hound Ravine definitely weighs no less than fifteen hundred pounds!”
“This is fantastic! We can apply for a world record!”
Lin Tongfu was overjoyed. He chattered on and on, explaining facts about wild boars to Old Chen as though he were tremendously pleased.
Yet between the lines, it seemed almost as if he were trying to plant some sort of psychological suggestion in Old Chen’s mind.
Old Chen was thoroughly bewildered, but he had not forgotten to ask:
“Then... what about compensation for the damaged crops?”
“We’ll apply for it as soon as we get back. If the boar from our area really makes it into the world records, we may even be able to apply for a prize for you...”
Old Chen: “...?”
A prize? What prize?
Wasn’t the wild boar a vicious beast that had ravaged the crops?