Chapter Eleven: The Water Lotus

This was the most natural question to ask, and Old Su had long anticipated it. Yet, some matters, even when one knows the answer, remain excruciatingly difficult to speak of. Just as in this moment—his eyes seemed to flicker with a trace of bewilderment, his expression froze ever so slightly, and only after a brief silence did he respond in a voice full of helplessness, “People say wine is a fine thing, able to help one forget many troubles. But in my eyes, there’s nothing more ruinous than that stuff. In my youth, I was muddled for a time—several cups of strong liquor, and I lost all sense of direction. A mistake is a mistake, and that’s that. Speaking of it now only adds to the sorrow. Since it’s a fault of my own making, no amount of evasion will change anything; in the end, I must bear it myself. I just never imagined it would implicate you as well. For that, I am deeply ashamed.”

His words were steeped in emotion, yet in the end, they revealed nothing concrete, only empty sentiments. Not a single useful detail was spoken. Then Old Su lapsed into silence again. Such is the way of people—even after many years, as long as something is buried deep within, recalling it always requires a moment to gather one’s feelings. This, however, left Han Tanyi in an awkward position. His questions remained unanswered, and now he found himself in the position of comforting Old Su. He truly did not know what to say, and so, like the old man, he chose silence. Who could say how much time passed—perhaps only a short while, but for those with burdens on their hearts, time stretches interminably, tormenting the mind with restlessness.

“Enough. Let’s set my matters aside for now, lest you think this old man is rambling. It’s better to make your current predicament clear.” At last, Old Su regained his composure, his words returning to the matter at hand. He regarded Han Tanyi with a grave look—this was clearly no light affair. No one knew the true nature of the Blue Lotus Sect better than he did. “Do you remember the blue lotus in the water jar? That is the sect’s token. There’s a rule in the Blue Lotus Sect: the more petals the lotus has, the higher the bearer’s rank. The flower yesterday had nine petals, which means the person who came was the highest in the sect—the sect leader herself, Water Lotus.”

“Water Lotus?” Han Tanyi was naturally bewildered, and his heart burned with the desire to know what had transpired. The moment Old Su began to speak, all his attention was fixed on the old man, not missing a single word. If any other phrase might have passed him by, those three words—Water Lotus—made him start visibly. To those in the martial world, that name was akin to legend, yet she was fated to be a demoness—a woman capable of sustaining such an infamous sect, standing against all of orthodox martial society. She was no ordinary person. It was said that those who had seen her in the flesh had only two fates: death—simple enough, since no one in the realm could match her in combat, or else the four great sects would not have needed to attack the Blue Lotus stronghold together, losing even the master of the East Hua Sect in the process; or, second, joining the Blue Lotus Sect itself. All claimed Water Lotus was a beauty beyond compare. If not for her capricious temper and ruthless ways, countless heroes would have knelt at her feet. But all that was in the past. In the great battle on Wolf Mountain, Water Lotus was said to have died on the spot—a fact known to all in the martial world. She could not possibly appear in some tavern. Yet, Old Su did not seem to be jesting. Thus, when those words escaped his lips, Han Tanyi’s eyes were full of doubt. “But Water Lotus is already—my master saw it with his own eyes. She couldn’t possibly still be alive!”

“If it were anyone else, of course she wouldn’t have survived. But Water Lotus was not an ordinary woman. No one could have guessed her capabilities—not I, nor anyone in the martial world. She used a method known as ‘turtle’s breath’—it allows one to enter a deep state of suspended animation by controlling the flow of inner energy. Outwardly, it is indistinguishable from true death; no matter how skilled or experienced you are, you’d be none the wiser. She anticipated that she couldn’t escape the combined forces of the four great sects, so she feigned death, gambling on her enemies’ so-called sense of righteousness not to desecrate her body. Once they left Wolf Mountain, she revived. But this technique has a flaw: it can only be used three times in one’s life, and each use greatly diminishes one’s inner strength. That’s why she chose to go into seclusion. No one in the martial world knows that Water Lotus still lives.” Here Old Su paused again, and to Han Tanyi, it was clear that such an event brought him no particular benefit. Otherwise, he would not have been so fearful. After a moment, Han Tanyi asked, “The inscription on the water jar—‘Kunwu not yet pacified, fetch one thing from you’—Kunwu refers to the sword, but what is ‘one thing’? Does it mean your head? But if Water Lotus acted personally, how are we both still alive? And why are you called the Left Envoy?”

“Boy, it seems you’re quite clever. Your powers of observation are on par with anyone’s. Indeed, ‘one thing’ refers to this old man’s head. Though I’m afraid, I’m prepared to give my life if need be. After all, it was I who wronged her in the past. Still, perhaps I’m just too dashing and charming for my own good—maybe Water Lotus couldn’t bear to part with this face of mine?” His words were full of jest, so much so that not only did Han Tanyi not believe him, Old Su himself was unconvinced. A faint smile crept onto his face, as if some fleeting sense of pride flitted across his expression. Even Old Su failed to notice it, but Han Tanyi laughed as well, clearly amused by the old man’s antics. The oppressive weight in his heart eased somewhat. “As people age, their skin grows thicker too. To speak such lies so brazenly, and not even blush—just for that, old man, you have my admiration! Look at you—drunk, disheveled, getting on in years. I doubt any woman would care for you, let alone Water Lotus, who was a beauty without equal. How could she ever fancy you?”

“Boy, did your master never teach you to respect your elders? To speak so freely—this old man—” Being teased by a youngster, Old Su was somewhat flustered, his words carrying a note of defiance. But he broke off mid-sentence, as if realizing that, at his age, quarreling with the young was beneath him. Besides, at that moment, his gaze seemed to see something else entirely. He stared intently at a bright spot on the wall, and with a voice full of sentiment, he murmured, “Yes, she truly was beautiful then, and so innocent—like an unblemished sheet of white paper, as if even the slightest mark would taint her. Just looking at her filled one with the wish to protect her from the smallest harm. Yet, one could not get too close, or even one’s own actions might seem suspect. It felt enough just to watch from afar, to lower oneself so that she might shine above all, as radiant as a blossom in the sunlight. Even if one were reduced to dust, it would be gladly endured.”

It was as if Old Su were talking to himself, oblivious to the presence of the young man. Whether his feelings were deep or profound, a sense of regret mingled with nostalgia. Han Tanyi’s face, which had just worn a smile, grew thoughtful. He had always been one to act on instinct, lively and spontaneous, rarely restraining himself. If he’d been more cautious, he wouldn’t have acted so rashly in Yingyang City. But Old Su’s words made his expression shift. Looking at the old man’s wrinkled, weathered face, Han Tanyi felt as if, in a moment of absent-mindedness, he saw himself. In Old Su’s heart was a Water Lotus; in his own, there was a Butterfly. To love someone is to give your whole heart—to do anything for her without a moment’s hesitation, to wager even your reputation and life just to see her smile. Han Tanyi had never thought there was anything wrong with this. But seeing Old Su now, he suddenly wondered if he himself wasn’t just a little too reckless.