Chapter 49 Self-Redemption

I toasted my senior brother with a cup of wine; there was no one else left in the room.

He slowly opened his eyes and said, “Junior brother, you don’t need to hold back so much. Since I chose to come and then to stay to help you, I will naturally spare no effort. When the time comes, I will act. But I have one condition.”

“Please speak,” I replied.

“I will only gamble for you, never for myself. You can understand it as me betting that Master has chosen you, betting that you can help me fulfill all my regrets. If you ever find me falling back into gambling, kill me and take care of my parents for me. If you have time, burn some offerings at the graves of my wife and daughter, and tell them that I know my mistakes,” he said.

His words felt like a knife stabbing my heart.

He was resisting the addiction to gambling through his memories of his wife and daughter and his painful past. If I let him back to the gambling table, wouldn’t that be adding fuel to the fire? Would I be pushing someone who had barely climbed out from the abyss of human nature right back down again?

“Forget it, let’s drop this matter. I’ll think of another way,” I said immediately.

“No, avoidance is not the answer. It’s like when you like a woman but don’t dare to say her name or look at her contact info, afraid that you can’t resist thinking about her or seeking her out. That won’t help you forget her; instead, she clings to you like a relentless parasite. Only when she stands before you and you remain calm and indifferent can you truly forget her. For me, gambling is that woman. The more I avoid it, the more it haunts me like a nightmare. Only when I can face it calmly will I be truly reborn. I am now placing my faith in you and Master to save myself. Giving you this chance is also giving myself a chance,” he said.

I filled the cup again, but he pressed my hand down and said, “Enough, no need to say more. Generals marshal armies and strategize victories from a thousand miles away. Once you enter this game, it’s like receiving a military order. That’s why the Eight Generals of the Thousand Gates are called generals.”

“When we stand up, the first thing will be to return and avenge you. Blood debts must be paid in blood,” I said through gritted teeth.

He smiled wryly and shook his head, “You don’t need to worry about that. That grudge cannot be avenged.”

“Why?” I asked.

“Ordinary people can’t reach the heights that others reach easily. Back then, to beg for mercy, to make them spare my wife and child, I used every plea I could muster. I was willing to give them everything I earned in this life, willing to be their servant for the rest of my days, yet they still wouldn’t let me go. Do you know why?” he said.

I shook my head.

“Because they don’t care. They have no interest in my savings or my skills. Destroying me was just a game they played when they were bored. For such people, all I can do is pray they forget this pest called me. How could I dare seek revenge on them? So, junior brother, it’s not that I lack courage or that I’m weak. Don’t bring it up again. Just focus on your own affairs,” he warned me.

“All right, senior brother, I’ll keep your words in my heart,” I said, lifting my cup and finishing it in one gulp.

This meal was over.

When I went to pay, Old Hai, the owner, quietly stopped me. He said, “I heard about what happened with you guys at Awang Restaurant.”

“You even know about that? It’s a bit embarrassing to talk about,” I laughed.

“That’s nothing. If you haven’t found work recently, you can come help me here. We can discuss pay and conditions. At least it’ll be a place for you to stay for now,” Old Hai said.

“I’ll think about it. They all have things to handle now. Thanks, Brother Hai. I remember your kindness. If you really want to help me, find me some quick money jobs. I’m really short on cash lately,” I said.

Old Hai immediately opened a drawer behind the counter. “How much do you need? Tell me a number, I’ll give you some first. I’m not kidding, if you want to earn money, just tell Uncle Yong. What jobs can’t you get?”

I hurriedly shook my head. “No need. Like I said, I’ll remember your kindness. I want to earn my money honestly by my own effort. I’m not afraid of hard work. I’m a poor boy from the countryside — no special skills, but plenty of strength.”

Old Hai gave me a thumbs-up. “Good, you’ve got guts and don’t mind hard work, right? How about unloading cement at the dock? Piecework pay: 0.13 yuan for each bag you carry from the ship to the truck. The more you carry, the more you earn. You in?”

“I’m in!” I said decisively.

Old Hai smiled. “I don’t know what you’re aiming for, but wait here. I’ll make a call. I know the foreman there.”

He made the call, and after a few words, my new job was settled. I was to start work tomorrow morning and look for a man named Hu Chunbin. The pay was daily settlement.

I paid the bill, and Old Hai didn’t refuse.

To be honest, only then did a weight lift from my heart. Having a job meant having income, rather than sitting idle and spending my savings.

After leaving Old Hai’s, I squatted about a mile or two from Awang Restaurant, waiting for another Brother Hai — Wu Dahai. I had two reasons to find him: first, to ask about that feng shui master named Lai; second, out of curiosity about how he managed to hold his own against Cheng Yi. I wasn’t afraid to fight anyone on the street — it was just about how hard you hit and who lasted till the end. But in front of a real martial artist, toughness was useless.

Zheng, Fan, Ti, Tuo, Yao, Huo, Feng, Chu.

I needed a fire general with exceptional martial skills.

The feeling of being completely suppressed by Cheng Yi was unbearable.

Before Wu Dahai arrived, however, Cai Ge and his gang showed up. Cai Ge saw me and, for some reason, bore a grudge. He charged over with his men. His brothers, wary of my reckless fighting style, tried to persuade him to give my cousin some face and not pick a fight, but the more they held him back, the more wildly he jumped, cursing and threatening to kill me, calling me a little bastard.

I stood up straight and walked toward him, pulling a cleaver from my waist.

Seeing the weapon, Cai Ge immediately panicked. “What do you think you’re doing? Believe it or not, I’ll call Cheng Yi! You think you can beat him?”

“I’ve never teamed up against you. There’s a misunderstanding. You don’t like me? Now take this knife and stab me once. We’ll settle it all, and from then on, we won’t bother each other. If you don’t dare, then from today on, stay away from me,” I said.

Then I handed him the cleaver.

“Do you think I’m a coward?” Cai Ge snatched the cleaver and threw off his handlers, ready to attack me.

I took a step forward, pointed to my head, staring him dead in the eyes. “Come on, strike here!”

Step by step, I advanced.

Step by step, Cai Ge retreated.

Until he tripped on a stone and fell, dropping the cleaver. He stood, swearing, “Crazy bastard! Chen Jianjun’s loser cousin brings a madman? Who’d want to mess with a lunatic?”

His gang scattered in panic.

I picked up the cleaver and tucked it back into my waist. Passersby who saw me thought I was insane and gave me a wide berth.

Then I saw Wu Dahai walking over slowly. When he saw me, he instinctively pretended not to notice and tried to turn away. I hurriedly jogged over, calling out, “Brother Dahai!”